Broken Bird - Eren x Reader Ch. 2

~Chapter Two: Where We Differ~

You waited a few minutes after Eren had entered the mess hall, watching poor Potato Girl run her final laps, before you decided to follow. Truth be told, you didn't look forward to having to go in anyway. You weren't exactly a 'people person', as you were more than aware.

Finally, Shadis' unfortunate victim pulled up in front of the mess hall and collapsed, sweating heavily and panting like a parched dog. Which she may as well have been, as far as you were concerned.

You shot her a look of pity and were about to finally enter the mess hall when a tiny blonde girl darted out, hands full with a loaf of bread and a skein filled with water. She slowly walked down the stairs to the ground. "I've brought you food," she called shyly to Potato Girl, who was already picking herself up off the ground.

She was across the ground and tearing apart the bread in her mouth so quickly that you thought she might have taken the girl's fingers with it.

You sighed and turned away, passing a taller, dark-haired girl as you finally entered the mess hall.

You regretted it almost immediately.

The room was filled with several dozen loud, chattering trainees. It seemed like everyone had already found their cliques and were talking animatedly. Barely any seats remained.

Except for the two that must have previously belonged to the two girls outside with Potato Girl. As it would happen, those two seats were very, very close to where Jaeger and Co. were sitting.

Fucking wonderful.

You collected your own piece of bread and bowl of colorless slop, before heading over to the table and sitting down heavily, happy to finally be off your feet after such a long day. The three looked up at you curiously, before getting the hint that you didn't want to talk and returning to their own meals.

Well, two of them at least.

Jaeger shot you a strange look, but you narrowed your eyes at him and he also took the hint.

Thank Sina.

"Not a lot of spare seats, huh?" Eren said obnoxiously. You knew he wasn't talking to you so much as about you. That made it even worse. Your face burned.

"More will free up as time goes on. There was a whole carriage of drop-outs leaving for the fields, and today's only the first day." That came from the blonde boy, Arlert.

"If you can't cut it here, you can't stay. It's as simple as that."

Now that you could agree with at least. The fewer people in the Corps, the fewer you had to compete with to make it into the Police. You could live with that.

You blocked out their conversation and decided to take a look around you at some of the other cadets in the mess hall.

At the other end of the table where you were sat two scary-looking blondes, a male and a female, and a sweaty, brunette giraffe who looked like he wanted nothing more than to become one with the wall and disappear completely. Despite their silence, you could tell that all three of them, even the giraffe, were going to be difficult to beat. They already had the look of hardened warriors.

The table across, however, was a different story. A small, almost-bald boy sat talking very loudly to an even smaller girl with dark pigtails, who was quick to insert her cheerful input. Next to them sat a tall boy with dark, slicked back hair who was talking quietly with his quiet, pale-haired counterpart. The way they spoke to each other made you think they must have known each other from before.

At the other end of that table was the Trost boy who had been headbutted earlier. He sat rubbing the angry-looking red mark on his head while the freckled Marco from Jinae spoke to him animatedly. It looked as though the Trost guy couldn't care less what was being said though, and ended up resting his head on his fist, looking as dejected as a lost puppy. Next to them sat a red-headed girl blushing fiercely at a tall brunette boy. All in all, they didn't seem like too much of a threat either.

Having observed all the others within your immediate vicinity, you looked to the Shiganshina trio to your right. It didn't take much to tell that the black-haired girl was going to be a serious problem. Her eyes were as hard as stone and she was obviously very physically capable. The blonde didn't look like much, but you decided that he had survived a titan invasion and deserved to be treated cautiously anyway. Then there was Jaeger.

His turquoise eyes were as bright as ever, alight with a fire that looked like a mixture of anger and determination, but his brow was relaxed as he spoke with his friends. He had a lean, slender body that had clearly developed some muscle in his teen years, and broad shoulders that supported a loose, tan tunic with ties at his throat. His skin was slightly tanned from spending time outdoors, and his dark, chocolate hair lay in a messy pile atop his head. His hands looked rough from work, and he seemed to have a habit of tapping the table.

That was when you realized he was staring at you.

His eyebrows furrowed again. "Are you sure you're alright? You still look a little pale."

You stood up quickly, taking your half-eaten dinner with you. "I'm fine. Goodnight."

You were out the door before he even had a chance to look surprised.

You padded down the stairs, and stepped back onto the grass, quickly walking across the field towards the girl's dormitory you had moved your scant possessions to earlier in the day. There really wasn't much need for you; you barely owned anything worth taking with you to begin with. The only thing you cared about was the ring that sat comfortably on your right index finger.

As you entered the small dormitory room you'd be sharing with seven of the other girls, you were greeted with the sounds of soft conversation and a loud, guttural snoring.

Oh, Amelia, give me strength.

You tip-toed past the snoring Potato Girl and made your way over to your bunk, climbing up quickly to grab the knapsack with your meager possessions before pulling the knee-high boots off your legs and depositing them neatly beneath the bunk bed. You sighed in relief. It's gonna take me a while to get used to this whole 'shoes' thing...

The small blonde and tall brunette were talking quietly in one of the bottom bunks in the corner of the room, in their bedclothes, clearly having already showered. You pulled your bag down and carried it swiftly to the locker rooms in the back of the dormitory. You really wanted nothing more than to take a shower as well and call it a night.

If you were being honest with yourself, you were quite excited at the prospect of a real, working shower. You'd never used one before, and were shocked (and pleased) to hear that the military had full access to entire rooms of them. You even heard that each dorm room had it's own locker room! You smiled in excitement as you opened the door.

It fell off your face as soon as you saw that none of the showers had any sort of barrier. It was just a square room with a few stalls for toilets (thankfully, those had doors), a pair of sinks that sat before dirty mirrors, and a long wall of thin, metal lockers. On the wall opposite from that was a row of four shower heads. So you'd have to shower naked with the other girls.

You knew it was too good to be true.

~

Twenty minutes later, you stood before one of the foggy mirrors in your new, plain nightclothes. You were happy that at least this once, you got to take a shower in solitude. You knew the opportunities for such luxury would probably be rare in the future.

You rubbed away the fog on the mirror with the back of your hand, and stared at your reflection. Your skin was tinged slightly red from the intense sunlight today, and you had dark circles under your eyes from the lack of sleep. Your wet hair was pulled back, and your eyes fell to your right cheek. A long, thin scar stretched from the corner of your mouth up to your ear from that window, all those nights ago. You'd never be able to look at yourself again without being reminded of your failure.

With a pained exhale, you picked up your bag and re-entered the main dorm area just as all the other girls who you'd be living with were returning from the mess hall.

To your annoyance, one decided that now was a good time to commence introductions. 'After all, the eight of you would be living together for the next three years!'

Ugh.

The ring leader of the horror show (Mina Carolina, she said her name was) was the dark-haired girl with the pigtails from earlier. The petite blonde introduced herself as Christa Lenz, and her tall companion said her name was Ymir. You noticed absently that her face was covered in freckles. The blonde, Christa, pointed to the sleeping Potato Girl and told us her name was Sasha. Again, you vaguely remembered her from registration day. The quiet redhead introduced herself as Hannah.

You recognized the pretty girl with the unique features from Shiganshina, who quickly introduced herself as Mikasa before grabbing her bag and entering the locker room. The scary blonde revealed her name was Annie, but looked none too pleased to do so, before following suite. Then the attention fell on you.

Might as well get it over with. "[Name]," you said quietly.

Mina looked positively thrilled and approached your bunk with a skip in her step. "So you're my bunk-mate!" she squealed.

You quirked an eyebrow at her, but she seemed entirely unaffected, holding out a hand and shooting you her widest smile. "Nice to meet you!"

You noticed a familiar spark of hope in her eyes.

Amelia smiled like that, too.

You gave her a half-hearted smile before crawling under the covers. "Yeah," you said, yawning. "You, too."

Mina's expression didn't change in the slightest at your lack of enthusiasm as you hid your face beneath the blanket. "Goodnight, [Name]!" she chirped, before grabbing her own bag and heading off to the locker room with the others.

Finally, you thought, as your eyes drifted shut. Goodnight, Amelia.

Within seconds, you were fast asleep.

~

Waking up the next day felt like hell. Your face and chest were tight and dry from the sun yesterday, and peeling in some spots. Your skin was incredibly sensitive as a result of living underground and away from the sun for the first fourteen years of your life, and the consequences of that were really starting to show. Even the year of working in the field didn't help all that much. At least then you had a hat to cover your face and neck and gloves to shield your hands.

You groaned when you sat up and your bones cracked audibly. Stretching like a cat, you jumped down and quickly changed into your uniform. Several of the other girls were still sleeping, Annie and Sasha among them. Mikasa was already in her uniform and stretching, and you could hear the distinct sounds of chatter coming from the locker room.

Okay, you thought fiercely. Day one.

~

Turns out 'day one' was going to consist of an awful lot of conditioning exercises and running.

You were all seated in rows in front of the Instructor, who was directing you into certain stretches to loosen up your muscles. It seemed like no one but a few of the girls were very fond of this warm-up. You certainly were not one of them. You didn't see how holding your leg above your head for x amount of seconds was useful in any way to killing titans. You could think of a few things it might be useful for, but you doubted the military held any things such as that in high regard.

You chuckled softly at your own joke, causing Hannah to give you a strange look from your right, as she tried (and failed) to stay balanced on one foot.

You would have laughed aloud if you could have seen Eren fall on his ass three rows behind you.

He nearly laughed out loud despite that, seeing as he had the perfect view of yours.

~

It was good that you'd spent the entirety of your childhood running, so you at least had a leg-up (you chuckled again to yourself) when it came to the running. You were towards the front of the group and barely breaking a sweat when you heard a pair of heavy boots approaching you.

"Hey," Eren said between breaths, moving at a crisp speed to come up beside you.

"Hello," you said shortly, picking up the pace and darting ahead of him.

"You know, you could at least try and be civil. We will be training together for the next three years," he called sternly, jogging more quickly to catch up to you.

"As far as I'm concerned, you're competition. Nothing more," you shot at him, without so much as a glance in his direction.

"Isn't that a bit lonely?" he asked, sounding genuinely curious.

Mikasa silently jogged up next to Eren and slowed, maintaining his pace with the straightest of faces.

You huffed at this. "Unlike some, I don't need a group of sycophants following me around to make me feel good about myself," you said haughtily, increasing your speed again and moving to the front of the group.

Even if he were able to move that quickly, Eren would have let you go ahead without him.

God, you put a bad taste in his mouth.

~

You were all winding down from the harsh day of exercises in the mess hall when Eren approached you again. You had been seated on the railing in front of the building, adjusting your boots. Sina, were they uncomfortable on your feet.

"What's your problem?"

You looked up at him from your boots, a single eyebrow raised.

"Excuse me?"

"What's your problem?" he repeated. "You've been nothing but hostile to me and everyone else since we got here."

You scoffed, straightening your back and looking him in the eye. His pretty, turquoise-colored eye. "I told you, Jaeger," you said coldly, hopping down from the railing. "I'm not here to make nice. I'm here to get in the Military Police."

His eyebrows furrowed even deeper, if that were possible. "That's bullshit, and you know it. You intend to not make a single friend for the entire three years we all train together? You're just going to sit alone every day, and eat alone and train alone and go to bed without talking to a single person, every day? For three years? Do you really want to be so isolated? Don't you care about anyone?"

His words struck a chord within you and you felt a twinge of pain. "I did," you forced out. "I've been alone since then, and it hasn't done me wrong yet."

You started away from him then with stiff limbs, wanting out of the uncomfortable subject.

Eren's soft voice stopped you dead in your tracks. "If you've lost someone, then you should know what it means to appreciate what you have while it's still there."

You looked back at him, all the hostility gone from your face. "What I've learned, Jaeger, is that you can't lose what is never yours to begin with." You turned away again, but didn't move. "It's a dangerous world we live in. I refuse to get attached to anyone else, only to lose them in some horrific way... you should understand that."

To your shock, your words didn't seem to anger him. He looked at you seriously. "That's where we differ. I lost someone, too. I lost them horrifically. But I won't distance myself from everyone as a result. I learned to take nothing and no one for granted, and let those I care about, here or gone, motivate me to become a better person. And every day, I become better."

You sighed, facing away from the boy completely. "You're right, Jaeger," you said softly as you began walking away again.

He could barely hear your next words, but sadness rung in them as clear as the green of his eyes.

"That's where we differ."