literature

Broken Bird - Eren x Reader Ch. 5

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~Chapter Five: ABCs~

You faintly remembered thinking that, wow, your head hurt like hell.

So went the many pre-waking thoughts that floated through your mind as your lay on the scratchy, uncomfortable surface. Many of them contained cuss words and pertained to your persistent, intense discomfort, but they were there nonetheless.

Among these intermittent thoughts, you dreamed.

The dream wasn't new, in any sense of the word. In fact, this dream was a recurring nightmare that you'd been having frequently ever since you left the Undercity that day over a year ago. In the three months you'd been in the Scouting Legion, though, its frequency seemed to be dwindling. Occasionally, you would be woken up by Mina's frantic shaking and hushed reassurances (which you would never admit, but you were grateful for), but compared to the year you spent in the fields, the nightmare came rarely. Maybe you just slept more soundly because of how blatantly overworked the recruits were during the day, but you doubted it. You thought that the dream had faded for a much simpler reason.

You were happier. You had found your purpose.

But right now, that dream was back.

It started like it always does. You were running through the Undercity, wood and glass cutting into your bare feet, sweat streaming down your face like a hot rain. Your chest heaved in strain and your throat burned, but you wouldn't stop moving. You couldn't.

The alley you were in didn't end. It never did. You just ran and ran, panting painfully, dodging the heaps of old plywood, broken bottles, and other garbage that threatened to trip or maim you with every step. Dirty sewer water dripped onto you from high above in the empty black. Despite the fact that the passageway seemed to stretch on into a dank, dark eternity, you pushed forward.

Because what else could you do?

You left a trail of bloody footprints in your wake. That was when you heard it, as you always did.

"[Name]?"

Your blood froze in your veins and you skidded to an immediate halt, debris shredding the bottoms of your feet. You felt agony shoot up your legs, and grunted in excruciating pain.

"[Name]? Where are you?"

You began to run again, ignoring your body telling you to stop, please, stop, and managed to put on an inhuman burst of speed, flying through the alleyway like a crazed bird.

"Please! It's dark!"

You finally saw the hovel at the end of the alleyway. You weren't sure when it appeared; each time, the building materialized out of nothing, and before you had time to react, you were slamming into the door, throwing your hands up to cushion your impact.

You heard a whimper from behind the heavy, waterlogged wood.

"...help...me..."

You threw the door open savagely, stepping through and facing the dirty, empty room. A single wooden door stood at the other side of the room. You ran forward and nearly destroyed it with your force.

Another empty room. Another door. You passed through in a manic frenzy.

"...[Name]..."

Another room.

"No..." you cried.

Another room.

"Amelia!"

Another.

"Amelia, I'm here!"

Another.

Another.

Another.

"Amelia, NO!!!!"

"[Name]! It's alright, it's alright, you're safe... I'm here..."

You looked around the empty room wildly, searching for the source of the different voice. Who...?

"[Name], it's alright... just breathe... it'll be alright..."

Your eyes flew open.

The first thing you registered was the blinding white light, and the strange weight enveloping your head. Something warm was on your cheek, another gripped your hand tightly. You realized your face was wet, and then... you realized that your entire body was in intense, agonizing pain.

You cried out, bending in on yourself and moving to cover your eyes. Before you could go very far, someone moved their hand from your face and grasped your shoulder, gently pushing you back down. "Relax... you don't want to strain your body more than you need to... please, relax. It's alright."

You did as the voice said, closing your eyes and drawing a few long, deep breaths. Finally, after your heart rate had slowed to something that resembled normal, you opened your eyes and tried to focus on the figure in front of you.

Turquoise.

"[Name], how are you feeling?" Eren asked, clear concern lacing his tone.

You stared at him, confused. What did he mean? You tried to think back to your most recent memories...

Oh, yeah. The tree. Damn it, that's embarrassing.

You rolled over onto your side, shooting him a glare.

Eren's face paled. "[Name], I'm sorry... I... I know it's partly my fault -"

"Partly?" you yelled, turning to face him again, before wincing and gripping your side. Well, shit. That doesn't feel good.

Eren's hands flew to your sides in a panic. "Please, calm down! You have bruised ribs. You don't want to move around too much. It'll hurt for a few days."

You scowled, slapping his hands away, in turn causing yourself more pain. "Thanks to you," you spat at the brunette.

Eren's expression darkened and his eyes lit up with that familiar green fire. "Hey, you know, I wasn't the only one racing in the woods!"

"[Name]!"

You were both interrupted by a shrill yell and a pair of pigtails storming into the room like a tiny, cheerful hurricane. You sighed. "Mina. Hi."

"Oh, [Name], I'm so glad you're awake! We were all really worried!" She came to your bedside in a hurry, practically shoving Eren aside.

You smiled gently at her. "Thank you."

Eren rolled his eyes.

You glared in return.

"And here I thought we were getting along so well..."

You snorted and folded your arms across your chest - no, that hurts, gonna put those down again... "That was before you distracted me when I was practicing 3DMG maneuvers and caused me to get into an accident."

Eren gaped. "Distracted you? Caused an accident? What, are you delusional?"

Mina, caught in the middle of a very intense staring contest, decided that then would be a good time to gracefully take her leave. "I... well, I'm going to go tell the others you're awake, [Name]. They'll like to know. I'm happy you're alright!" she squeaked.

You two barely even noticed the door click shut quietly behind her.

"I didn't mean to 'distract you'," Eren gritted out reluctantly. "I just wanted to have some fun. I'm... sorry."

You lifted your nose at him. You were going to make another snippy remark, but... if he was trying to be nice, you guess you could try too. Not that you liked it. "It's alright," you replied airily. "I forgive you... and I guess I'm at fault too," you admitted, equally reluctantly.

You both sat in an awkward silence for a few moments, you in your bed, he in a chair situated besides it.

"Who's Amelia?"

You blanched.

"I've never heard the name before," you answered quickly, cursing yourself for your immediate reaction to the name.

"Then why were you saying her name in your sleep?" Eren questioned with a slightly irritated look on his face.

"She was just someone I knew from my childhood. That's all." You inwardly praised yourself for sounding nonchalant.

Eren didn't fall for it. His face fell into an expression of worry. "You know, I get nightmares."

You avoided his gaze, feeling more vulnerable than you had in all the years you'd spent growing up in the underground district, without proper clothing, exposed to the elements and the evil people therein. You didn't want to go there, but you could tell by the tone of his voice that there was no stopping him.

"I've had them ever since I was ten. Ever since Shiganshina," you looked up at him through still-damp eyelashes, willing your pained expression off your face. You failed. "My mother died. She was taken right in front of me. I watched her..." Eren cleared his throat. "They've gotten better as time went on, but sometimes, when I close my eyes, I still see it... I see her getting eaten, bitten in two. All over again."

You looked at him worriedly. "Eren, you don't have to -"

He interrupted you gently. "No, please. Hear me out."

You paused for a second, but nodded your consent. "Okay."

He looked away for a minute, but gathered his courage and continued. "The dreams, they're horrible. They take away every scrap of hope I have in me. The only comfort I've ever found in them is having somebody to listen to me once I've woken up. At first, it was just Mikasa. She would come and sit with me and talk, or just listen, until we both fell back asleep. Sometimes now, Armin will too. I'm grateful to them for it."

You didn't know how to respond. You were really just shocked he was telling you any of this to begin with.

"What I'm trying to say is, if you need someone to listen, I'll always be around," he finished in a rush. "Or... you could ask Mina, or someone else, if you want. It was just a suggestion. The tips of his ears were tinged pink in embarrassment.

You were at a loss for a word. "Thank you, Eren. Really."

"Yeah, well, it's no big deal," he said quickly. "But, for the record, I... I'm glad you're okay. You know." Eren's face turned a shade of red that you would have teased him about under any other circumstances.

Fortunately for him, you weren't really in the mood. Instead you gave a wan smile to the blushing boy.

"I am, too. And thank you."

~

A day later, you were allowed to leave the infirmary. You had been visited by a few of the girls, Mina, Sasha, and Christa (with a reluctant Ymir) mostly. Occasionally, Eren, Mikasa, and Armin would stop by and talk for a little bit. But all in all, you hadn't had too many visitors. You weren't shocked by this - the only people you had gotten to know at all were the girls in your dorm and Eren. You were well aware of your handicap when it came to forming friendships.

Sometimes you regretted it. Now was one of those times.

You were told from Shadis that you had one more day exempt from training (not without having a few 'stupid's and 'immature's thrown your way first, obviously), and you gladly made your way back to your bed. Your chest and ribs hurt, but it was manageable.

The weather today was nice and cool, being early fall now. The months of training during the summer were brutal, so you were pleased to finally have a bit of a reprieve from the battering sun and heat.

Until next summer, that is.

You breathed in heavily, appreciating the scent of the nature around you. It was such a nice change from the stench of death and garbage that you had grown up with, pungent and stagnant, inescapable. You thought you might never get tired of this smell, though. The smell of life.

You finally arrived at your dorm, quickly entering and visiting your bunk. You noticed with surprise that your old uniform had been cleaned and folded neatly on your pillow case. You smiled. Mina really was very thoughtful sometimes.

You grabbed the clothes and ran to the washroom for a shower. It had been at least two days since your last one, so you knew you were overdue. Throwing your bag on the counter, you gingerly removed your civilian clothes from your worn, tired body. You stopped when you noticed what lay beneath.

Dark purple, yellowing bruises speckled your ribs and chest until they disappeared down into your pant line, but that wasn't what drew your attention.

You were considerably stronger. You could see the distinct outline of muscles in your stomach, your arms, even your legs. You had always been slender, but now you looked powerful. Your face was fuller. There were ladders of criss-crossing marks across your chest and sides. They were the bruises from the 3DMG older cadets and soldiers spoke of.

You weren't quite sure why the marks affected you so deeply. You knew that all soldiers got them from the extensive 3DMG usage, but... somehow, this made your reality seem more... real. You had only been practicing with the 3DMG for a few days before the accident, and already, they were becoming a part of your body, even when naked. It began to sink in that you really had joined the military.

You'd really gone from a thief, to a soldier.

You're more than just a thief.

With a small, sad smile, you finished undressing and got into the shower, washing away the remnants of dirt, grime, and unhappy thoughts.

~

It was finally here. The day you had been dreading for, well... since you decided to join the military.

The first day of 'theoretical training'.

Now, you knew that sitting in a classroom could hardly be as taxing as the daily training (more commonly known as torture) you had endured. Many of the recruits seemed to feel this way and looked forward to when theoretical training in the classroom would start to take up your mornings rather than the endless laps Shadis forced upon you.

Maybe you would have felt this way, too, in another life. Unfortunately for you, in this life, there was one, teensy, tiny, little problem.

You had never learned to read. At all.

This was a fact that shamed you to no end, but you had been able to get away with it so far in your training. You knew now, though, that you would have to learn - and fast - if you wanted to be sure that no one found out about your past. About your origins.

You had to find a way. There was no other option.

And so, there you sat, on a cramped bench between Mina and Marco, trying desperately to instill a meaning in the mostly meaningless scribbles on the chalkboard before you.

You were so frustrated you could cry.

You tried desperately to listen to Shadis and make it look like you were taking real notes, like everyone else. What you were doing instead was feverishly attempting to scribble down whatever he happened to write on the board, so caught up in your fruitless task that you didn't even notice what was being said. Occasionally you would grunt in frustration, and Marco would look at you with a concerned expression.

Once Shadis finally dismissed you and instructed you to return your papers to your dorms before running laps for not paying enough attention, you looked down at the markings on your piece of paper.

Yeah, looks convincing enough, you thought, smiling triumphantly as all the other cadets exited the classroom.

All but one.

"You can't read, can you?"

You looked up in shock at the freckled boy, grin erased completely from your face. "Yes, I can!"

He smiled good-naturedly at you, and an apologetic expression clouded his kind features. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound so rude, but... you aren't from Jinae, are you? It's a pretty sparse district, and I'd never even seen you before we joined the Corps."

You stared, slack-jawed, at the boy in front of you.

This is it. Game over. Time's up.

You scowled, trying to mask your panic. "Fine. I guess you'll tell Shadis I lied, then?"

Marco looked absolutely horrified at the idea. "Goddesses, no! I was just - I noticed that you were having a hard time with taking the notes, that's all. It looked like you didn't know what they meant."

You looked down at the mess you had made on the paper. You were grateful that the rest of your classmates left and weren't present to hear your conversation with Marco. You sighed in defeat. "You're right... I don't know how to read."

Marco looked at the paper thoughtfully for a moment. "Where are you actually from?"

Your eyes fell to your feet and your shoulders slumped. "I... grew up underneath Wall Sina. In the underground district."

Marco's eyes widened, and you noticed the flecks of amber in the deep brown. "It's true, then? People actually live there?"

You grunted. "Yeah. And it's hell. But... please don't tell anyone. They'd throw me out. Or in jail," you pleaded, an edge of desperation to your voice that would have mortified you if your situation wasn't so dire.

Marco shook his head. "I wouldn't. I won't. But why would they arrest you?"

You looked up at him in surprise, relieved, but answered solemnly. "The orphans in the Undercity have to steal to survive. Until I joined the military, I was one of them. I'm technically a criminal."

Marco looked shocked to hear this. "That's awful! They don't have any support system for the children?"

Well. That wasn't what you expected to hear from the young man when you told him of your track record. "Yeah. I only took what we needed to live, but... they still caught on eventually. Fifteen years of stealing will do that."

Marco looked confused. "'We'?"

You didn't want to discuss this, but you'd already spilled that much. Might as well put the nail in your proverbial coffin. "My little sister and I. We grew up there together."

"I see," he said seriously. He looked to you. "Where is she now?" he asked gently.

Your expression melted into one of sadness. "She died just over a year ago."

Marco fell silent for a second. "[Name], I'm sorry."

You both sat in the quiet, thinking.

"I'll teach you how to read."

You didn't think you heard him right. You were grateful enough that he claimed he wouldn't turn you in, but this...

Why would he just do something like that for you without even knowing you?

You voiced this question to him, and he laughed lightly.

"Because I think that you coming this far after having lived such a difficult life is admirable. Talk about a phoenix rising from the ashes," he chuckled, giving you a warm look.

You cocked your eyebrow. "What?"

Marco flushed a little. "Oh, sorry, it's just something I read in a book once. It's a bird who, when it dies, goes out in a burst of flame. Then it rises again from the ashes of its previously life to start again. It's a symbol of rebirth... of new beginnings."

Your eyes lit up and you dug the ring out of your pocket. "Like this?"

Marco looked stunned, but nodded, appreciating the small piece of jewelry. "Yes. Exactly like that. Where did you even get that?"

You shrugged, admiring the small, golden trinket. "I have no idea. I think it must have been my mother's."

He smiled. "[Name], I want to help, if I can. Please."

You looked at him hopefully, not caring to sensor the look on your face. "You would... really? You mean it?"

His expression didn't change. "I meant it. I'll teach you how to read."

Your hands fell to your sides, limp relief, and you would swear up and down later that you definitely didn't want to cry on that bench.

But you totally did.

"Marco... thank you."

Maybe making some friends wouldn't be as hard or as bad as you thought.
Sorry this chapter took a bit longer than the others, but I've had a busy few days! I won't be able to update as often, unfortunately (you know how real life gets, I'm sure), but I'll work my hardest.

I know I promised a Shadis POV chapter, but I couldn't make it fit here. It'll be a bit of a comic relief sort of deal, and I swear I'll have it up eventually!

We have some Eren, and a little bit of Marco here. And who doesn't love Marco? Hope you enjoy!

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Start from the beginning!
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Index

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If you see any mistakes or inaccuracies, please feel free to send me a message or comment and let me know! It not only helps me out a ton, but also people who will read it in the future! Thanks in advance!

Comments are appreciated. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy!

SnK & Co. belong to Hajime Isayama
You belong to Eren
© 2014 - 2024 larkspyrr
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PringleTheChartreux's avatar
"the evil people therein"

I Think You Want:

"the evil people in there"